Marrying Via the Internet & Matrimonial Agencies
Question:
Living in a non Muslim country (Australia), it is hard for one to survive. I have been “looking” to get married for a long time now. The problem is that the community here is divided in terms of consisting of nationalistic people (mainly the parents) and those who are intolerant of others who don’t follow their “Islamic methodology”. Parents who bring their cultural baggage from overseas pass on their nationalistic views onto their sons/daughters, therefore making it hard upon the one who doesn’t adopt such an un-Islamic attitude, to get married.
Secondly I have been discriminated against because I have been married before. The doors are shut in my face without being given a chance, as though I have passed my “used-by” date. Unless one has contacts through family and friends then their chances of getting married are slim. The easiest option I find is using the unorthodox method of searching through online matrimonial ads and “Islamic” internet chat channels, as for me it remains as the only avenue to break the above barriers. There is no avenue for a person in my position to meet people under Islamic guidelines in “real life”.
I have approached various “Islamic” organisations for assistance, in addition to mosques, but have found that people are least willing to assist, and unfortunately my parents don’t know anyone. My friends repeatedly tell me that “everyone is married or engaged”. The reason as to why I have had no assistance from the mosques and through various Islamic organisations is because of the division that exists amongst the Muslims.
What solution would you recommend to the above…. Would in a case such as mine using the “online” method through matrimonial ads and chat channels be permissible? How could I possibly educate the ignorant?
Answer:
Firstly, it should be remembered that whatever is permissible in itself will also be permissible via the internet. Those actions which are unlawful, will remain unlawful when practiced by the usage of internet or any other means, such as phones, etc…
To use the services provided by the matrimonial agencies would be permissible, as long as no rules of Shariah are violated. One must be mindful of the fact that, it is not permitted to socialize or interact without reason with someone young of the opposite gender and thus ensure that he/she stays within the limits and bounds of Shariah.
Traditionally in Islamic societies, looking for a suitable partner was the responsibility of parents, family members or some close friends. However, now with a large number of people migrating from one country to another, many people do not have their families that can help them to get married. We also have, alhmadulillah, a large number of new Muslims. They do not get much help from their families for Islamic marriages. Therefore, to use the services provided by these agencies is permissible and at times needed.
The ruling with regards to the chat rooms, however, is different. The limits of gender interaction were discussed in detail in an earlier post. It is impermissible to have an informal conversation over the Messenger services or through email for that matter, just at it would be over the phone or in person.
In conclusion, you may use the services provided by these agencies, but at the same time ensure that it remains within the limits of Shariah, and not interact with the opposite gender unnecessarily. However, you should avoid using the chat channels, as this falls under the category of unlawful interaction.
May Allah find you a religious and suitable marriage partner who will help you in drawing closer to Allah, and the betterment of this world and the hereafter, Ameen.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK