Tying Divorce with a Condition
Question:
I remembered that Allah made dua for liars “Liars perish”. I stopped lying since then. And why did I start again? I have been asking myself this question. I have been making taubah and crying to Allah to stop my lies. What went into me?
Because of my only incorrigible bad habit (lying), my husband had just divorced me under ‘Conditional Expression that Effect Divorce’. Does this type of divorce means one, two or three divorce? Or is this a final divorce?
It started 2 weeks ago. I did not inform him, as a form of respect, that I lent some money to a sister… I believe everything comes from Allah. He took it so seriously and took it as a lie.
He then asked for a separation. After 3 days, I kept on begging, crying and making dua, he forgave me and he made a pact/ agreement/ expression “If I ever lied again, he divorce me’”. And yesterday, I told him a lie. With a lot of questioning, I finally admit that I lied. I did that because I did not want him to get angry/ worked up with me. Finally, he said – did I remember the pact he uttered 2 weeks ago? And I said yes. Is this a divorce, Sidi?
Is there anyway he can take me back as his wife again? I have no mahrams left apart from my mum. I know Allah is there for me. I love my husband so dearly for the sake of Allah. But I spoiled all these goodness coming from Allah. Didn’t I, Sidi?
I am in need of help. Please do advice me what to do. I cannot bring myself to be divorced by my husband. Masha-Allah, he is wonderful person. It’s me that needed help. May Allah guide me to the right path. Insha-Allah.
Ya Sidi, Is there any duas or miracles that my husband will take me back? How can he trust me again? Please kindly advice me.
Answer:
If your husband conditioned the divorce to your lying and dishonesty, in that he said: “If you lie again, you are divorced” then upon you lying, one revocable divorce (raj’i) comes into effect.
Imam al-Mawsili (may Allah have mercy on him) states:
“If one tied the divorce to (the occurring) of a condition, divorce will occur when the condition takes place. And the oath will come to an end (m: with the divorce), because when the condition (i.e. the act) takes place, the oath no longer remains, except when saying “whenever”….” (al-Ikhtiyar li ta’lil al-Mukhtar, 2/172)
Therefore, if your husband did not use the word “whenever”, then divorce will only come into effect when you lie the first time, after which the oath comes to an end and no further divorce takes place if you lie again.
However, if he said: “whenever you lie, you are divorced” then whenever you lie, one divorce comes into effect. Thereafter, if he takes you back and you lie again, once again a divorce comes into effect until it reaches three divorces.
After three divorces, if you were to re-marry your husband (after marrying someone else), the oath will be considered nullified and void, hence no further divorce takes place in case of lying. (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/415)
All of the above is in the case where your husband does not issue two or three divorces. If he conditioned the act of lying to two or three divorces, they will be effected accordingly.
Another scenario is that your husband did not actually issue or tie the divorce to lying; rather, he merely promised to issue a divorce in case of you lying. For example, he said: “If you lie again, I will divorce you”, then in this case an automatic divorce does not come into effect by you lying, rather he will have to issue the divorce.
The reason being is that this is considered a promise to divorce, and divorce is not effected by mere promise of divorcing in the future, rather it has to be in past or present terms. (See: Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar & other fiqh references)
In light of the above explanation, if your husband actually issued the divorce and conditioned it to your lying, then upon your lying, one revocable divorce has come into effect. This is provided he did not stipulate two or three divorces in his statement.
In case of one revocable (raj’i) divorce, your husband can take you back without having to contract a new Nikah.
What you need to do is discuss the matter with your husband. You need to make a firm resolution not to lie in the future, as lying is considered a major sin which leads to other sins, and you need to assure your husband of this resolution. Let your husband know that you love him dearly and don’t mean any harm and that you yourself don’t want to lie but at times Shaytan overcomes you.
Your husband should also not haste in making such statements of divorce. Tell him that you are trying your best to free yourself from this evil habit of lying, but sometimes it just occurs. Ask him in a loving and gentle manner that you are trying your best not to lie, but if it did happen, please forgive me.
Supplicate to Allah Almighty that He makes matters easy for you, give something in charity and try not to keep anything away from your husband. The relationship of marriage is a very strong one; hence you need to have that special bond and attachment with your husband in a way that you don’t conceal anything from him.
In conclusion, discuss the matter with your husband in a loving way. Ask him to forgive you, take you back in his marriage and bear with you if you do make a mistake in the future. We all commit sins and make mistakes, and the best amongst us is the one who repents from his/her sins.
Tell your husband that you love him and don’t want to part with him. Ask him to take you back, as the divorce was revocable (raj’i), and the husband can take his wife back within the waiting period (iddah). Thereafter, you make sure that you don’t make the same mistake and make a firm resolution not to lie, and explain to your husband not be hasty in making such statements. He must be extra careful in the future, because he has issued one divorce, hence there are only two more left in order for the marriage to terminate completely.
May Allah Most High make matters easy for you, Insha Allah.
And Allah knows best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK