Death Threats from my Mother to my In-Laws
Question:
I have a very serious problem at the moment that concerns my mother. I have been taught that Islam explicitly and quite profoundly teaches that the status of the mother is paramount and so are her rights. Alhamdulilah I became married approximately six months ago. My wife is currently residing in her home country with the intention to settle here. The marriage was arranged via both families. The dilemma is that from the very first day we incurred many problems.
In particular, arguments concerning jewellery have resulted in my mother deciding to have a member of the family of my wife murdered. My in-laws have confirmed receiving a death threat letter with photos from certain people that my mother has paid to carry out the act. This has been confirmed by my mother.
I have extensively spoken to and argued (and even shouted) with my mother, informing that this is haram. However she is adamant that the intended plan will proceed.
I am currently greatly confused as to what I should do. My heart is telling me to declare, in the name of Allah (SWT), that I leave my family and live elsewhere in opposition. I can not continue to live at home and begin to give money to my mother for the housing affairs (such as bills etc) as I am worried that this will be used to finance this whole act.
So I would really appreciate it if you could notify me as to what course of action I should take…
Answer:
First of all, I pray to Allah Almighty that He assists you and your family in solving the problems, and that everything is resolved peacefully, Insha Allah.
With regards to the death threats from your mother and her intention of murdering someone from the family of your wife, it is your responsibility to prevent this using all possible ways and means. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
“Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If this is not possible, then with his tongue, and if this is not even possible, then (dislike it) in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Sahih Muslim)
Firstly, try solving the core of the problem due to which your mother has become very upset. Explain to the parties involved to come to a peaceful settlement, and end the hatred and enmity that has come about.
You must explain to your mother that this is an unacceptable course of action to take. Remind her of the severe punishments promised in the hereafter by Allah Almighty upon murder and also on giving death threats. A mention of some of the verses of punishment from the Qur’an may be useful. You may use the medium of someone whom your mother respects or may have an effect on her to advice her.
Also, supplicate to Allah and ask His assistance in guiding your mother and solving the family dispute in general, for He is capable of everything and anything. Turn to Allah with full devotion and sincerity and His help will come, Insha Allah.
At the same time, you must respect your mother and not do something that is harmful or disrespectful to her. You have to keep respect, thus all of the above should be done in a kind, gentle and polite manner.
If you wish to live separately, then that is up to you. It is perfectly permissible for you to live separately, especially if you think that it may be a means of preventing the evil. You may even stop the financial support if you think that it may be paid towards financing any wrong doings.
May Allah Almighty help and assist you, and bring everything to a peaceful end, Insha Allah. Ameen.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK